Undoubtedly Debra

Recently a friend posted that losing a marriage is as though you lost a family member. It truly feels that way... its as though a limb or part of your being has been cut off. Something that you yearned for your entire life, to be a wife, to love someone unconditionally and be forever there for them is no longer a dream but rather a distant memory. It feels as though your soul is dying, the very part of you that was filled with joy and love for this person hurts as though it will never cease. It's like a bleeding wound that will never heal, a feeling so strong that you are certain it will swallow you whole. That was me. That is me. That will always be me. The friend said grieving is a process where we go through the loss of not only our spouse but the loss of our dreams and what we envisioned our life would be. I've been there. For the past nearly 9 years, I have hurt, cried inside and out, felt like I let down my faith, my family and all that I value. I've felt lost at

The sounds of country music and Alabama drifts into my subconscious delivering nostalgia that only some " Mountain Music" can. The words drift across the tip of my tongue with a Southern accent and a tapping foot. The sound of my daddy's voice as he strums the guitar, singing just like Alabama fills my mind with joy and of days gone by. I'm fairly certain, my dad sounds better than Alabama, can play a mean acoustic and electric guitar and knows every lyric to every country song that ever existed. I'm reminded of sitting on the side of the dirty tractor, the radio cranked up, riding the fields next to my dad singing country music. The smell of the freshly shucked corn, the sounds of the corn rustling in the wagon, the powder of it blowing on the wind. Reminded of times, working on on our farm, watching my dad deliver baby pigs and thinking, he can do anything. Always working, always watching, the memories of my dad. Sitting at grandpas pond,under the pine trees, ta