Contemplation
The older you get the more you tend to contemplate the meaning and direction that your life has taken. Some of us tend to be content with the knowledge that we are loved; others tend to shrivel up in an endless struggle of wondering who they are and what purpose exists in their lives. I've been there.
Towards the end of my college career, my entire identity was wrapped up in being a teacher and working with kids;all at once my life took an abrupt shift in direction. One day I had the ephipany that pride and arrogance allowed for lack of growth and if you weren't happy with who you were in life, then all of the titles and allocades bestowed on you meant nothing. Some of that was due to September 11th, some of it due to student teaching and some due to finding a career that I fit into like a glove. I think I also finally began to accept who I was as a person.
Do you accept who you are? We are all flawed; no one is perfect. How many times have you been told that? Do you really hear it? I know that I have great hair, a decent smile, can learn most things easily and am a fairly good teacher. I also know that the more I age the less I like my body, or my skin or the wrinkle that seems to be hereditary in my family. Yet I am proud that I'm not aging gracefully. Why give in..... why subscribe that life must be one way and you have no control. Maybe that sense of control and that we all have choices in the directions that our lives take gives me an innate sense of calm. So while on the outside I'm slathering on moisturizer like crazy and trying to avoid the tempting sun on the inside I really like who I've become. I'm loving, giving, nuturing , cheerful, optimistic and driven. I've also accepted that not everyone is going to like that. I'm okay with that too. I'm okay if you don't like my directness, my hope, my love or maybe even my tendency to talk to much. It took a long time to get there but I'm here and proud.
For those of you that shuffle in despair, ask yourself, what makes you happy? Is it small children, a walk in the park, a night out at the bar, prayer or spending time with family? When do you feel at peace in your life? Find that place or thing and make sure that as you dive head first into life you don't leave that inner peace behind. After all isn't that really what we are all after?
Towards the end of my college career, my entire identity was wrapped up in being a teacher and working with kids;all at once my life took an abrupt shift in direction. One day I had the ephipany that pride and arrogance allowed for lack of growth and if you weren't happy with who you were in life, then all of the titles and allocades bestowed on you meant nothing. Some of that was due to September 11th, some of it due to student teaching and some due to finding a career that I fit into like a glove. I think I also finally began to accept who I was as a person.
Do you accept who you are? We are all flawed; no one is perfect. How many times have you been told that? Do you really hear it? I know that I have great hair, a decent smile, can learn most things easily and am a fairly good teacher. I also know that the more I age the less I like my body, or my skin or the wrinkle that seems to be hereditary in my family. Yet I am proud that I'm not aging gracefully. Why give in..... why subscribe that life must be one way and you have no control. Maybe that sense of control and that we all have choices in the directions that our lives take gives me an innate sense of calm. So while on the outside I'm slathering on moisturizer like crazy and trying to avoid the tempting sun on the inside I really like who I've become. I'm loving, giving, nuturing , cheerful, optimistic and driven. I've also accepted that not everyone is going to like that. I'm okay with that too. I'm okay if you don't like my directness, my hope, my love or maybe even my tendency to talk to much. It took a long time to get there but I'm here and proud.
For those of you that shuffle in despair, ask yourself, what makes you happy? Is it small children, a walk in the park, a night out at the bar, prayer or spending time with family? When do you feel at peace in your life? Find that place or thing and make sure that as you dive head first into life you don't leave that inner peace behind. After all isn't that really what we are all after?
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