Trust and Respect
Looking back over my life, I think back to that innocent childhood youthfulness where trust is a given and love is absolute. As you experience life ,you tend to lose that innocence and trust in others and their innate goodness. Some of us lose it much later than others.
What causes us to lose that trust typically stems from a betrayal of some type. Obviously the betrayal is determined by the paradigm that you view life and the values that you have for your relationships in life.
Whether it is a friend who steals your toy or pushes you down, a spouse who neglects your needs or a parent who doesn't support you; all of these things can cause your reality in life to become slightly altered.
You might feel hurt, abused, neglected, unloved, crazy, fearful, shocked and angry. The multitude of emotions running through your heart and mind might drive you to cry in agony or to scream in anger. Those tend to be the typical reactions to the specific situation that stimulated the current situation.
The question then becomes, what's next? Do you severe all ties, run away, bury your head in the sand and pretend it didn't happen, bottle it up and keep it inside, tell everyone who will listen how hurt you are. We all react in different ways.
In my life when these betrayals have occurred at first I can't believe it, try to convince myself it's not true, then I get reactive and want to run away, next I usually tell anyone that will listen and be sympathetic about it (as long as they aren't connected to the event of the moment), then it becomes anger and finally a period of calm.
The hurt and anger I think are common but the sense of calm is a bit scary at times.
If you know me, that's how I tend to behave in situations where most might lose it or panic. At the funeral I'm the calm one, on the death bed once again I'm the calm one. I'm the one that calls the hospital, the problem solver, the one who decides that rather than be reactive I'm going to take charge of the situation.
Sometimes I ponder that might not be the best response to the event.
Does it get me through? Certainly. Yet somehow months later I find myself thinking about, wondering about and worrying about the previous event.
Sometimes I don't want to be the responsible, innocent, proactive, naive and loving one. I just want to feel the feelings that are bombarding me and get it over and out. Maybe next time.
What causes us to lose that trust typically stems from a betrayal of some type. Obviously the betrayal is determined by the paradigm that you view life and the values that you have for your relationships in life.
Whether it is a friend who steals your toy or pushes you down, a spouse who neglects your needs or a parent who doesn't support you; all of these things can cause your reality in life to become slightly altered.
You might feel hurt, abused, neglected, unloved, crazy, fearful, shocked and angry. The multitude of emotions running through your heart and mind might drive you to cry in agony or to scream in anger. Those tend to be the typical reactions to the specific situation that stimulated the current situation.
The question then becomes, what's next? Do you severe all ties, run away, bury your head in the sand and pretend it didn't happen, bottle it up and keep it inside, tell everyone who will listen how hurt you are. We all react in different ways.
In my life when these betrayals have occurred at first I can't believe it, try to convince myself it's not true, then I get reactive and want to run away, next I usually tell anyone that will listen and be sympathetic about it (as long as they aren't connected to the event of the moment), then it becomes anger and finally a period of calm.
The hurt and anger I think are common but the sense of calm is a bit scary at times.
If you know me, that's how I tend to behave in situations where most might lose it or panic. At the funeral I'm the calm one, on the death bed once again I'm the calm one. I'm the one that calls the hospital, the problem solver, the one who decides that rather than be reactive I'm going to take charge of the situation.
Sometimes I ponder that might not be the best response to the event.
Does it get me through? Certainly. Yet somehow months later I find myself thinking about, wondering about and worrying about the previous event.
Sometimes I don't want to be the responsible, innocent, proactive, naive and loving one. I just want to feel the feelings that are bombarding me and get it over and out. Maybe next time.
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